Phalange Sue – Boneham, Midlands
“He says I’m the only one who ever cleaned his coccyx properly,” writes Sue, 57, kneecap polisher and regional marrow coordinator. Her photo submission — rejected by two other zines for “excessive glyph content” — shows her proudly scrubbing a sacral gatepost with a toothbrush made of her late husband’s radius. She wears only her ceremonial apron (vertebrae buttons fully fastened) and a smile etched from ivory composite.
“I don’t need digital filters. I’ve got calcium lighting and twelve fused intentions.”
Donna of the Fourth Spoke – Unknown Zone
Donna appeared without announcement. Her submission arrived encoded in a kneecap fragment and smelled faintly of jaw varnish. She writes: “I no longer require skin. I reheat my lovers with friction alone. My femurs sync to most regional broadcasts.” The accompanying photo (not shown) contained no visual form — only a boneprint smear and 404 ultrasonic resonance.
“He screamed once, briefly, but his tibia loved me.”
Glenda & The Ossicle Club – Leeds (Mostly)
Glenda and her partner unit submitted a time-sequenced series of bone choreographies performed in the nude save for ossified shoelaces. Their highlight? A 47-minute synchronized patella beatdown performed on a sigil-slick floor. The final image in the scan shows a table full of clavicle skewers, still steaming.
“Our neighbours complained. Then they joined.”
Back Page Flash: WIFEWIRE SUBMISSIONS
🔸 **Laryssa, 39**: “I restructured my pelvis for love. Now it rings like a bell when I dance.”
🔸 **Yvette & Hollow Ken**: “We wax our skulls together every solstice. No regrets.”
🔸 **Mona, 63, Retired Dentist**: “I gave up enamel work. Now I enamel myself.”
🔸 **CR33CHY**: “I submit. I fracture. I ascend. Only through Playbone was I seen.”